Dialogue jokes
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
Knock knock.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Knock knock. Who's there? Apaches. Apaches who? Apaches on your eye.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."