Depression Jokes

So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)

Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying." -Charlie Chaplin

Mom : You will make me kill myself Me who has cut first : I'll kill myself ✨first✨

Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : *stays quite cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls* Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don't want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I'LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?!

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

Why cant dwarf be depressed?

Because they are compressed

What's worse than failed attempted suicide? The pity looks people gives you and people keeps u away from 'dangerous' things

OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE. ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?

aking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging..

Life is like a film it goes on but you can cut at anytime

Are you my fish because your supposed to be dead

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn't fit around his neck

hi im depraashinhi im rope me can i hang with you guys

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner So he says fruit ninja with his wrists

What do you call my sister

Suicidal

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'Cause I'm in a great depression😎

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine.... 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol