Depressed person jokes
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.