Demon jokes
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
Memes
Meme:
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?
How do ghosts cry?
Boo hoo.
How do demons cry?
ERCDVHVXRCDHGHDCFHBGFBHGN FGEHJGNVEGHDNES BGEWYSHGBEWHGSGNBDGEBSHNZAGCHNSNGEHSNGVHGNNEBDSVZHGB.
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. ๐ฌ
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahรฆanananana!
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: Iโm in hell, canโt you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, youโre already dead โ ๏ธ
Guy: Ok, does that mean Iโm a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink ๐บ
Guy: Ooooooo, I canโt wait ๐
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I donโt like kissing fire girls ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ
Demon: Then you wonโt like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: Iโm dead for real in the hell ๐ชฆ๐ดโโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธ๐
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Btw friend here also wants to do suicide.
Friend: Why did I cross the road? Me: To get to the other side. Friend: True!
Friend: Hey let's go hang out at the forest today! Me: Ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* Friend: Hey at least we did it!
Friend: What's the best thing about me? Me: You will eventually end. Friend: Hmmmmmm . . . true!
Friend: What historical time influenced you the most? Me: The great depression.
If I could be an object I'd be glass because I'm see-through and I can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!
My parents sometimes say I'm their sunshine! . . . because I'm painful if you look at me.
Teacher: What does km/s mean? Me+like almost all of the class: *in unison* It means kill myself but misspelled.
Friend: What's the best way to end a game? Me: With death. Friend: . . . Hmmm now that you think about it yeah! That's the best way!
When you're about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you can't litter there.
Google says that you're about 75% water but I'm made of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress.
Brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more.
How do you keep weeds away? Just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. Problem solved.
When you take antidepressants but they don't work it will just make you more depressed and that's a fact.
A bored depressed suicidal person: *sees a dying person* Dying person: P-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* Bored depressed suicidal person: Hmmmm ur an ambulance Dying person: *manages to get back up* Bored depressed suicidal person: Oooooohh goddddd Dying person: *in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~
Roses are red, Inside I'm dead, I have crippling depression, Some one pls shoot my head.
When you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they don't. You: *panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*
The only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself.
A made-up story starting now. So I went to school as usual. There's a school shooting. All the depressed suicidal people: *crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME A made-up story starting ending.
In this one the friend isn't suicidal. Friend: Wanna play a game? Me: Life wait no a game has a meaning. Friend: . . . *crickets* Friend: Calls suicide hotline. Me: Wait no!!!!!
Me: *has crippling depression* *asks mom why I was born* Mom: Hmmm I think I was drunk and on a lotta drugs. Me: Hmmm tysm *gets the rope* Mom: *making hanging puns* Me: *hurries to the trash truck*
Me: At this point I've lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that I don't struggle with it now, I'm good at it and it's all normal.
Hope you enjoyed.
Memes
What happend for them to put this sign up?
SPAGHETTI DEMON
Community
(DEMONIC VOICE) ALRIGHT I'VE HAD IT ENOUGH!!!!!! THESE FAKERS WON'T FUCK OFF STOP GETTING OFF MY FUCKING DICK!!!!! INSTEAD OF USING "DARK RAPBOAT" ACCOUNT, I RATHER USE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!! THE BETTER ONE, AND LESS PUSSIER ONE!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN RETURNED AGAIN BECAUSE THESE FAKERS KEEPS SAYING SOME BULLSHIT AND THINKING THAT IM GAY!!!! I'M NOT GAY!!!!! I WILL FINISH OFF OF THESE FAGS ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SUPER FUCKING M-M-M-MAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1944, October 7: An uprising happens in Birkenau, destroying machines that murdered many Jews. 1948, May 14, the UN declares that the Mandatory State of Palestine is replaced by Eretz Yisrael, or, the Land of Israel. On that day, all the surrounding countries launched a ruthless attack, and spawned a wave of minor terror acts. The terror acts grew after the 6-day war in 1967. 1973, October 7: Yom Kippur; On this dateโฆ Read more
Hello, welcome to Demon Airlines today we are going to be flying to hell so please take a seat and enjoy as this Wonder website dies and we go along with it! ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ We will be flying like it was stolen