My grief counselor died the other day
He was so good at his job, i don't even care.
Dark jokes are like a new day suicidal people donβt get it
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year
They have no mother or fathers day
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a frog A cat has 9 lives and a frog croaks every day
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted." Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!" The brother yells back, "Well at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
my mum said not to walk the streets cause i wont find home the next day i was an orphan
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
I donβt see why emo kids donβt like to hang around
I see them hang all day
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I donβt know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python? When they are hungry they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eat for a day, you give a man a language and he eat for a lifetime
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me
12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league
One day I meet a blind guy and I said you should see Mt Cheaha
a guy stuffed some cigarrets up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors. The next day he could see only one color... Black
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
a man walks up to lil johnny one day and asks if you had one wish but that wish will be granted to everyone on earth so the lil johnny thinks real hard and long then said well i would wish for me to shit my self and the man is shocked and asks why and lil johnny reply's well i would be on the toilet i thing everyone else would just be confused
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers
feminist: correct
everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
Why did a girl like bananas?Because one day she might need to be ready.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey whatβs going on ? Why you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under a crying sad voice "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers then my mother and raped my sister." The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breech cloth then said βGuess this isnβt your day is itβ
