Country jokes
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
Oh, Russia, we love you! 🇷🇺
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris.
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.