Country jokes
Make America Great Britain again!
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
Canada United States Mexico
C U M
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Russia—the real joke.
Russia.
Ukraine.
China. There. :)
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.