Country jokes
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost the towers.
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.
Jerry: What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Charles: I dunno.
Jerry: Well, the flag is a big plus.
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!