Cough jokes

The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)

How do you know a vampire's sick?

If he's coffin (coughing?)

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

What is a box called when a cough dies in it?

A coffin.