whats the difference between you and Hitler at lest he knows how to use a oven
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on called a day off?
Yo'Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
What is a panda's favorite cooking impliment? A Pan - duh
What is the best way to end a cook book?
And that’s a wrap
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. the first cannibal says "you start at the bottom I start at the top" so they both chow down. about half an hour later, the second cannibal says "i'm having a ball" then than the the first cannibal says "than you're eating too fast"
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey's F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN'T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON'T YOU??!!!!!!
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
The person to make the first cannabinol cook book had a wife and ate (eight) children
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave? I don't know I close my eyes when I masturbate.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
How do you cook macaroni .with a shark-spoon-a-rooni
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Someone asked me, how would you like your steak cooked? I said, on a stove!!!!!!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel it's skin off.
Yo mom so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
