The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
FNF: Beep bop.
Parappa: Cook those burgers and believe!
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
