Compression jokes
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.