Zip

Zip jokes

Door

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

People

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

Midget

I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

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  • Memes

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

    Detention

    There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

    Mama

    Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

    Midget

    I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

    "Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

    "Bugger off!" he shouted back.

    "What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

    Gold

    I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

    Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

    Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

    Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

    Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

    Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

    Ranch

    Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

    Memes

    Community

    eee-eee-eee! splash, splash! 🌊🐬 hello friend! i’m so happy to see you! i’ve been zipping through the waves all day just waiting to say hi! 💦✨ let’s dive into some fun together—the ocean is big, bright, and bursting with adventure, and i can’t wait to share it with you! 💙

    Hello again. It's your favorite lonely person. I have read your millions of texts about BoredPanda, Amy, Dagger, and all of those people and I can say that you all need to follow this saying: Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket. Stop tormenting little kids, get off your computer, and live a normal life. Also, Donut and Jake's relationship should be disbanded immediately, since online dating is for fucking losers. Thank you, all.