Zip Jokes

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

There were 3 guys in detetenion called zip willy pee and they were all being naughty the teacher came in and said zip down willy out pee in the corner

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code.

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts :Friend " Your jokes are to short" Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden." :Friend "Your such a ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum." Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum, it's always because I always glitz" :Friend "at lest I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

Waiter says "Sir we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it"