Christian

Christian Jokes

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go! If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder) will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian? That was my brain teaser for you guys! make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closest. Being a Pedo. When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

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Maude of ghostposter is a dumb christian pussy ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious although I hate her.

I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first"

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Man walks up to a priest. The man says "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says "No you are not my son." The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says "Jesus Christ your back!"

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Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest from a zit, one waits until your twelve to come on your face.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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