Cant jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him? It's you good-looking guys! So sad you can't read this since you're blind. Oh geez, I just found this website and I want to make people laugh. Too bad they can't see the joke.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Why can’t orphans have a computer?
Because they don’t have a home page.
Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?
Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"