Cant jokes
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: _________
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: __________
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can't reach the drinking fountains.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
'Cause they don't know where the home is.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.