Newest Candy Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is opposite of a lady fingers?

Answer: Mentos

Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy 😛 But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?

was randy. 👹

Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

They wanted some chocolate balls.

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why does he not wearing a costume, and he said he doesn't need to. Then I realized that he's a ghost, and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy

what can you do if you have a rotton pice of candy

One day johnny told his dad this girl in his class who liked him he thoe she was cute she sead aw your like candy he doesn't say any thing he sead why don't u think I am sweat like candy little Johnny say well some time I get a tooth ake and it hurt so I stop eating it like I stobed liking u

Every heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth

Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!

Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ̈Hey they want to party with us! ̈Timmy yelled over the whooping. ̈Party van! ̈I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ̈P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. ̈Isn’t that right mommy? ̈

I hate this-Everybody knows its how I roll if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll-My Uncle said this.....

Teacher:here have candy Kid:no I’m too fat Teacher:shut up or I’m gonna fail u *next week* Teacher:ok kids get off the floor and go back to your seats Kid:I’m too fat to get up Teacher:don’t u remember what I said Kid:yep elephants don’t forget

Knock knock who's there Candis. Candis nuts fit in your mouth?

jack and jill went up a hill to smoke weed jack and jill got high and jack ripped jills close right off her then jill ripped jacks close off jack wen they were fully naked they started to kiss but jack stoped jill said i know you wana jack said no but jill jumped on that candy stick any way jack gave in to jill. jill got off then let jack suck her candy stick jill sucked on jacks candy stick

jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out