Candy jokes
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.