Candy jokes
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!