Bungi Jumping jokes

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.