Bulb jokes
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.