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Brother

Brother jokes

A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.

At least now I can have his phone he left.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

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    • I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

    Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.

    A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

    The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

    Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

    The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

    He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

    A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

    Two skeleton brothers are talking.

    1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

    2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

    How do you find a redneck virgin?

    Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

    What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

    My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

    A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

    There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.

    When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."

    The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "No, I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "Excuse me, but where are your manners?"

    "Round the corner picking up shit."

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