Brick

Brick jokes

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One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • What is the difference between a car and a tree?

    A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

    Mommy, why is my name Brick???

    Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

    Mommy, why is my name Rose???

    Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

    Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

    What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

    Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

    Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

    He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

  • 4

    • A father is talking to his three kids.

    Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

    Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

    Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

    Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

    Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

    There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

    Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

    Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

    Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

    Boy: Okay, Dad.

    Dad: No problem, Brick.

  • 0

    • My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

    So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

    Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

    Teacher: 502.

    Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

    Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

    Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

    Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

    Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door

    Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

    Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?

    Teacher: let me guess the lion?

    Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

    Teacher: WOW!

    Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

    Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

    Student: The gators are at the party.

    Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

    Teacher: She drowned?!

    Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

    Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

    Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

    Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

    Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

  • 5

    • There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."