Boot Camp jokes

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

Amber Heard's Morning Routine

Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.