Baby jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
My son.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."