What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
