Baby jokes
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
My son.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.