Baby jokes
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
My son.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.