Assistance

Assistance jokes

Pass

    • Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

    - 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

    Better than Elanga?

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    • Terrorist

    • I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

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    • Pastor

    • This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.

    He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

    He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

    An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

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    • Assistance memes

    Rape

    • If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.

    Man

    • What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

    They both can’t get up without a dog.

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    • Midget

    • I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

    He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

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    • Explorer

    • Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

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    • Kid

    • I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

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    • Wheelchair

    • Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

  • 0