Artillery jokes

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.