Are jokes

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?

They are all insane comebacks!!!

I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.

"Are you getting the knife?"

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.

Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

Why were the twin towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same!

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?

Because they have a history of separating colors.