Are jokes

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?

symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?

angela: Because you are the thot of the group.

symple: Well it takes one to know one.

symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"

angela: FUCK OFF!

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

I am Asian.

I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they are fucking assholes.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

Me: Which WiFi are we on?

Coworker: Should be floor 89.

Me: What about flight 104?

Coworker: Oh crap!

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

When we take a family photo, you are the background.