Are jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Memes
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."