Animal cruelty jokes

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.