Animal cruelty jokes

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

One man's pet is another man's dinner.