Animal cruelty jokes

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

One man's pet is another man's dinner.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.