And jokes
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Memes
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.