And jokes

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year, and one's a great year.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?

One of them is used.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."