And jokes

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?

One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.