And jokes

What is the difference between a human and a magic house?

To the Earth, is the human body of the human being human? Is it human? Human can be the one day today after the night is the snow time and a.

My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!

I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!

One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"

The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."

The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."

They ask who, "The President?"

"No, more important."

"The president of another country?"

"No, more important."

"An ambassador?"

"No, even more important."

"Well, who is it?"

"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."

My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."

Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."

Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."

Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."

Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱

Why is an orphan and a dog friends?

What is hell to you?

Jesus!!!!!

He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.

But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!

And our Eternal Heaven!!

Do I sit broken-hearted?

I came to sh*t and only farted.

Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?

Dumb Kid: DEADit?

Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!

Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!

Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.

My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.

You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?

"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."

I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"

Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.

So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.

We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!

What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?

A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.

Demon: Why you sad?

Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?

Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.

Guy: Really? Nice.

Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.

Guy: OoOoOo

Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️

Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?

Demon: No, you're not a ghost.

Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜

Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?

Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?

Demon: Yup.

Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?

Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.

Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.

I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.

Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.