Alzheimer's patients jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

Patient: "What condition?"

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.