Alzheimer's patients jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.

But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.

Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.

Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You can hide your own Easter Eggs!

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.