Alzheimer's patients jokes

Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.

Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.

My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.

But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!