Alot Jokes

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Wow, Heavens alot hotter than I thought it'd be.

The twin towers and genders have alot in common, there used to be two and now.. its just a touchy subject.

My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?

So the other day i saw a child in a wheelchair

he was getting bullied alot so i came up

And said why dont you stand up to those bullies

hoes be like ive been through a lot no alots been through you

been getting alot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, i guess its a sign i should go lower

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵 C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on It's Penalty time and it won't be long Gotta dive and cry some more It's Penalty time and it won't be long ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot Cry some more and dive alot. that all i need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

I done a thing were we have chat hangouts with people that like gwen or just want to hang out do stuff.

All people are in vited

we have alot! Enjoy

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And i've been seeing it alot more, since i've lost you

What do you call a lesbian dinosour? Lick-alot-a-pus

What do us emos all have in common? Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue alot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy

How do you scare alot of people in New York? Open a mobile Hotspot named delta in flight wifi.

How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!

Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.

I dont understand why the twin towers were super upset there pizza just got there alot faster by plane

My Friend said having sex is alot like your first football game

Your bloody and bruised but at least your dad was there

My dog used to chase people on a bike alot. It got so bad,I finally had to take his bike away.

what did nemos dad say "man hes alot like my dad, i can never find him"

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are and that's not anyone elses choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on 'churches and christianity'. I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to the anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of christian people and I respect that! NO REALLY I DO. My best friend is a dumbass christian just like you are, and I respect thats how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't a aussie, I note that Idfk what this is:" The people who defended Australia get 2 days, rememberance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community get YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biast. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get alot of hate from this I also don't give a shit, but please remember that its just my thoughts and opinion. Thankyou for reading. :)