All jokes
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.
I saw them hanging all day.
Memes
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!
What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?
It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!