Adolescent jokes
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
What do you call a group of teenage emos?
Suicide squad.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Girls being 14, look 18, act 21.
Boys 21, look 18 and act 14.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
