Action hero jokes

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.

Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.

Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.