Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
I did a good job of being home from school 🏫
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
