Shower thoughts

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Nun

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent? She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Vegetable

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Sex

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Sibling

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

IKEA

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Blind

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Sign Language

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

Sign Language

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

Dwarf

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

Lesbian

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

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  • Virgin

    I learned how to say virgin in German: "Good and tight."

    German

    I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

    Lesbian

    How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

    Women

    How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

    Blind

    How does a blind person wipe their ass?

    With braille toilet paper.

    Blind

    How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

    Difference

    What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

    Women

    Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

    Because they’ll get chapped lips.

    Girl

    What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

    She had small tits.

    Girl

    What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

    'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'