Mama Mia’s pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
I bet China can be the best baseball team, they took out the entire world with just a bat
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds and he can only do it once
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.
His response was “Ho ho ho”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.
Never invest in funerals. It’s a dying industry.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say “Tell me if you can hear me”, then get in the trunk and start screaming.
What is the differences an orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!
What’s an orphan’s favorite spiderman movie?
Spiderman No Way Home
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words?
The windows xp log out sound
I would name my dog five miles so I could say I walk five miles every day but today I ran over five miles
why do dwarfs laugh when they run. the grass tickles their balls.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
What show does an orphan hate?
Rehab’s for quitters and I don’t give up