If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Do you have dark humor?
Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying..... but I decided to abort.
I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind
the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5
I like my people how I like my tea..
In a bag under water.
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?...because they orded pepperoni pizza and got plain
