How does cows say oof? They say MOOf

Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn’t doing very good so I told him so. My brother said to me, “at least I don’t have to camp in order to get kills”. I then responded with, “I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills”.

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone

what do you call asian kid that is bad at math. an orphan

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind Manto become a king. I mean, I don’t see why not.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.”

I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

I have a p..... It’s very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It’s also very hair. My hairy p.... meows and purrs.

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he’s seen your cat

I was on a plane and My mom said it just a little turbulence And I said Mom we just got on run way

What’s a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

What’s steven hawking’s favourite type of comedy?? Stand up

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give me the most likes on this site

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They’re usually in bread

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer

Why don’t clams like to share?

Because they’re very shellfish.

When start sweating after filling in c for the third time in a row