what’s the difference between you and eggs? eggs get laid.

In 2016, Americans took Orange is the new Black to a whole other level

What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout? I don’t know, I just fly the drone

I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women’s rights book in the fiction section

What’s the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

So dark Many jokes about orphans God this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans

Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?

Because he was hoppy.

I smell Ice a mile. *Titanic I want to Icebeld.

Get a fucking life ya horny bastards

Do I sit broken hearted I came to shit and only farted

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Q: What’s the first day of the week in outer space? A: Moonday!

Why can’t orphans play baseball, because they don’t know were home is

Poke diver 1 sucks

Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in france only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms? anal sex and oral sex is against the law in france

Why does Oscar Field have no friends because he spends time on his fields.

So I told my sister want hear some jokes and she was like hit me with best shot fire away and I was like okay I know ur singing and old song yeah I was trying to see if u sing too and I said who do u think I am Chris brown Hi