What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot“.
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok… what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board
“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
I am on the german website
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
If a blind person can’t see then, do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!"
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.