did you hear about the person who died? i would tell you about him but he died

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

“Let us prey together.”

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker…

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

How do you get a Jew girls number

Pull up her sleeve

Yo mama so tall!!! when she wake up from her bed she stands up and found NASA beside her face, and she thinks it’s a fly!!!

Yo mama so fat! when she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!!!

what does NASA means? No Apes Submit Astronaut

There was murder. The detective suspected the artist first… because he was sketchy.

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite? They’re just two week to quit.

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea but it’s dead in the water

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.

I dont like 9 11 jokes they have a tendency to crash and burn

What did sally get for Christmas? ligma

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a bus.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Thanos snapped.

What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar