Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

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  • Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

    My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

    She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

    Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?

    Dad: Because she was made there.

    Son: Thanks, Dad.

    Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

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  • A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

    Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

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  • Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

    Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.

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  • Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.

    “May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.

    The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”

    Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.

    The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.

    “Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.

    “Does your dick touch your asshole?”

    “No.”

    The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.

    “Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.

    “Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”

    “Yep.”

    “Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”

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