Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

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  • My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

    So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

    One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

    Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

    Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

    Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

    Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

    Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

    Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

  • 3
  • How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?

    None, it's all tongue and groove...

    Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

    You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

  • 1
  • If you were a food, what would you be?

    Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

    Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

    Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

    What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.

    A penis has a sad life.

    His hair is a mess.

    His family is nuts.

    His neighbor is an asshole.

    His best friend is a pussy.

    And his owner beats him.