Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

  • 5

    • So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

  • 8

    • China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

  • 9

    • Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.

    How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?

    There is sperm on the screen.

    One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

    "What part of the dog did you get?"