Worst Jokes Ever
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪