A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
WHY CANT MISS PIGGY COUNT TO 70? BECAUSE WHEN SHE GETS TO 69 THERE'S A FROG IN HER THROAT.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
when my grandpa was 65 he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
he's 70 now and we have no idea where he is
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Why was a oven so smart. It had 70 degrees
Your hairline so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back
Day 70 without s3x my doctor asked me “are you s3xually active?” I said “why what u tryna do?”
for every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
her (DYM 70)
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test..
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6 year old in the trunk of my car.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported
The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
