Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
I support LGBTQ.
Let's Go Bully The Queers.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"