Worst Jokes Ever
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
If a woman’s version of marriage is "happy wife, happy life," but statistically men are more likely to kill themselves, so who should be making who happy?
Then a man’s is "happy husband, don’t get bludgeoned."
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
What do a woman construction worker and a woman activist have in common?
They just stand there and hold the sign.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.
Why is America so good at Rubik's cubes?
They have a history of sorting colours.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Why do Black people go to church so much?
Because the priest is the only father they know.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.
What’s the best way to stop diarrhea in India?
With a butt plug.