Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Bike

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

USS Liberty. Never forget.

It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

Bad

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

Masturbation

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

Michael Jackson

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

Swimsuit

Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

Lesbian

What's a lesbian's favorite candy?

Licorice.

Sex

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

Common

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

Blonde

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

Common

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Hairline

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Cowgirl

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

Abortion

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

Santa

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.