Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Dentist

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris

The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

Orphan

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

Catholic

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Stephen Hawking

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?

The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.

Candy

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

Why don't you use a dull pencil?

Because there's no point. 😐😑😑

what do blind people and orphans have in conman? they both cant see they're parents...

Morbid jokes

What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

Woman

How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?

She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’

Morbid jokes

What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.

Woman

When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.

Peter Griffin

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.

Anxiety

My anxiety has anxiety.